Anytime I am having a bad day or I feel shitty about myself, this Web site reminds me that my life really isn't that bad.
(706): Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
(310): we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
(905): Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
(1-905): With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
(412): i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
(502): i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
(703): So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
(1-703): You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
(219): I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
(519): i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
(402): P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
(631): I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
(416): I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
(1-416): u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
(314): My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
(413): He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
(818): Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
(484): then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
(413): i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
(541): If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
(978): my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
(631): Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
(856): Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
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