I'm a bit of hypochondriac, but I hate going to see a health professional. It's not so much the gynecologist sticking things in my vagina or a male doctor putting his cold stethoscope on my bare chest that bothers me. It's the before and after I cannot stand, and I thus try to avoid going to the doctor's at all times.
Before you even see the health professional, you have to sign in, wait, fill out some paperwork, wait, read through shitty, outdated magazines about pregnant women or babies, wait, be subjected to the unpleasant smell of the sterile air and old people, and then wait some more.
I went to U.S. Health Works off of Soledad Canyon Road early last year because I felt the oncomings of strep throat. I waited in the waiting room for 3 fucking hours. How long did I see the doctor for? A whole 10 minutes. That's bullshit. And all he did was take a swab of my tonsils for a test that takes 4 minutes. Why can't I do this at home? If I can administer a pregnancy test, I should be able to administer one of these puppies on my throat. I wouldn't even have to pull down my pants or pee all over myself.
The kicker to this situation was that the doctor misdiagnosed me. He said that I didn't have strep but I had tonsilitus. He put me on some antibiotics and as soon as I was done with them, I got strep throat. Awesome.
Anyway.
After you leave the health institution with your prescription and a better attitude since you now know you're not dying, the bill comes in the mail and you instantly have the desire to strangle someone and/or blow something up.
At least that's what happened to be at the end of last year.
I went to get my annual vagina check-up last year around July. This was the first time I would have my vagina looked at without my UCI insurance. Since I moved back home to Castiac, I decided to "ThinkSCV" and look into a place close by instead of going where my mom goes out in Verdugo Hills.
I found Valencia Gynocology Associates located on Smith Drive across from Valencia High School. They take the insurance I get through work. Sweet deal.
I made an appointment, the doctor did her thang, and I was out, happy as a clam. I requested to do the slew of STD testing as well, cause I'm safe like that. Some STD tests require blood, so she had me go next door to get my blood drawn. Because it was a long wait and I had to go to work, they told me that I could come back whenever to get my blood drain. Sweet! So I left.
I didn't come back until November to get my blood drawn. They took my blood, I told them it was for STD tests and a pregnancy test (why not?) and that I had come earlier in the year for a pap-smear.
A couple weeks go by and I get a bill in the mail from Providence St. Joseph's Medical Center.
Hmm. I've never been a patient there.
I open it up. It says I owe them $430.
WHAT THE FUCK? For what?
Of course I don't understand the codes and whatnot on the bill so I start calling up my insurance, Valencia Gynocology, and this hospital. I tell them that this is absolutely ridiculous cause I went in for an annual check up and that this was all PREVENTATIVE CARE. I didn't need to go in. I wasn't sick. I went to make sure I was good (which I am. Holla). How can they charge me $430 for having a cold metal rod shoved up my pussy and taking my blood?
Apparently they messed up on the coding and they should have sent it under another name suggesting this was preventative. *WHEW* So Valencia Gynecology re-sent the hospital a fresh bill with the right codes.
I get a letter in the mail 2 weeks ago from my insurance. Now I owe $769.35.
How can this be possible? I do not understand. And this boils my blood almost as much as Sarah Palin.
I'm now calling each ass-raping company involved (Valencia Gyno, my shitty insurance company, and the hospital I've never stepped foot into) and requesting EVERY PIECE OF DOCUMENTATION they have under my name.
I refuse to pay that much money for preventative care. It is beyond ridiculous.
The absolutely worse part about this? I was (and still am) a student as College of the Canyons and have health insurance there. I could have gotten everything done FOR FREE.
Sometimes, I can be so fucking stupid. Serves me right, I guess. Now I get to struggle and fight this. Yay.
So, thank you, America, for your current health care system. It sure is one of the best in the world.
