Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Jacked from Ania, and I love it
Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater.
If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Come back here
Where does the time go?
September is on her way out and October is knocking at the door. As fall approaches, the leaves aren't the only ones changing.
Time certainly flies by though. And although I try to live my life to the fullest everyday... some things take time to take shape and therefore it seems like nothing is really getting accomplished.
Story. Of. My life.
I tend to start a lot of things and never finish them. I need to work on that.
In the meantime, I'm enjoying the fast pace. It means I'll be out of here (SCV) soon.
September is on her way out and October is knocking at the door. As fall approaches, the leaves aren't the only ones changing.
Time certainly flies by though. And although I try to live my life to the fullest everyday... some things take time to take shape and therefore it seems like nothing is really getting accomplished.
Story. Of. My life.
I tend to start a lot of things and never finish them. I need to work on that.
In the meantime, I'm enjoying the fast pace. It means I'll be out of here (SCV) soon.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Quote of the day
"Our biggest obstacles in life are always ourselves."
Today is the 6th day of not smoking.
Hopefully I don't fail tonight as I get hammered with a bunch of polacks at my church.
Today is the 6th day of not smoking.
Hopefully I don't fail tonight as I get hammered with a bunch of polacks at my church.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Festivals to do list
When I'm down, depressed and hating my life, I dive into the world of the Web and find things I'd be interested in doing.
Sometimes it depresses me even more since I know I will never be able to actually do them... but it still lifts my spirits at the possibility of me going.
Here are a few festivals that I want to attend before I die.
1. Tomatina
Sometimes it depresses me even more since I know I will never be able to actually do them... but it still lifts my spirits at the possibility of me going.
Here are a few festivals that I want to attend before I die.
1. TomatinaWhat: About 30,000 people descend on a little town to participate in the world’s largest food fight mostly using tomatoes. Never had that massive cafeteria food fight when you were younger?
When: The last Wednesday in August.
Where: The tiny town of Buñol in the Valencia region of Spain
2. Burning Man
What: An 8 day festival that culminates in the burning of a 72ft wooden man, this festival is where you can cut loose. Each year has a theme and last year 47,000 people decided to join the fun.
Photo by colvid daorado
When: Starts 8 days before the American Labor Day, September
Where: Blackrock Desert, Nevada USA
What: It’s supposed to be a 7 mile foot race but instead it’s a 7 mile costume party and keg race that goes through downtown San Francisco. It began in 1906 to keep people’s sprits up after the earthquake and locals are still keeping that alive. Over 70,000 people, congregate downtown in costumes (or nothing at all) and shopping carts filled with kegs.
Photo by weylandphoto
When: The third Sunday in May.
Where: San Francisco, California
4. Mardi Gras
What: You know what
When: Around Ash Wednesday
Where: Louisiana
5. Oktoberfest (the real one. I've been to the one at Alpine Village)
 |
What: Beer beer beer beer and more beer
When: Around September 18 to October 3
Where: Germany
*sigh*
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Thanks Alex
"Always be who you are, and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
-Dr. Seuss
-Dr. Seuss
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Reality is sicker than fiction
Phillip Garrido is one person who should be banned from living in society.
Maybe just banned from living, period.
What a sick, sick fuck.
And he has a wife? How is that possible?
This story is horrifying. Reading about it makes my heart heavy and I feel like crying. For Jacyee. For her two naive and ignorant daughters. And for her poor mother.
Can you imagine reuniting with your own child after 18 years? 18 years! EIGHTEEN FUCKING YEARS.
It absolutely blows my mind.
What pisses me off the most is that Garrido has done something similar before, got caught, and then was set free.
He abducted a woman when he was 25 years old and blamed her. "It's her fault for being so attractive."
He tied her up and kept her in a storage unit in Reno. She was tied up and raped. He called the storage unit "a palace."
He was sentenced to jail to serve a 50 year term. He only served 11 years.
This is all after he admitted he only liked "sex when it's forced."
You don't let people like this free. I don't care how long they serve, or how good they are in jail. This people should be mentally screened before being released again. If he had actually served his full term, he would have never abducted Jaycee in the first place.
She's 29 years old now. With 2 kids. One is 15 and the other is 11. She had her first child when she was 14 years old, 3 years after being abducted.
Think about where you were when you were 14. Can you imagine being pregnant. Living in a tent in the backyard 170 miles away from your family?
I have so many questions. Some of which will probably never be answered.
Garrido is now suspected of murders around his residence in the 1990s. As grateful as I am for Jaycee's mother to be reunited with her child, Garrido robbed both of them of 18 years.
Jaycee never had a chance to date. To go to prom. To play in the band. To fail a class. To play a sport. To argue with her parents. The most important decades of her life were taken away from her.
And for a mother to miss out on watching her baby girl grow up is heart-breaking.
And both Garrido and his wife are pleading not-guilty.
Yeah. Good luck with that.
If don't know what I'm talking about read this.
Maybe just banned from living, period.
What a sick, sick fuck.
And he has a wife? How is that possible?
This story is horrifying. Reading about it makes my heart heavy and I feel like crying. For Jacyee. For her two naive and ignorant daughters. And for her poor mother.
Can you imagine reuniting with your own child after 18 years? 18 years! EIGHTEEN FUCKING YEARS.
It absolutely blows my mind.
What pisses me off the most is that Garrido has done something similar before, got caught, and then was set free.
He abducted a woman when he was 25 years old and blamed her. "It's her fault for being so attractive."
He tied her up and kept her in a storage unit in Reno. She was tied up and raped. He called the storage unit "a palace."
He was sentenced to jail to serve a 50 year term. He only served 11 years.
This is all after he admitted he only liked "sex when it's forced."
You don't let people like this free. I don't care how long they serve, or how good they are in jail. This people should be mentally screened before being released again. If he had actually served his full term, he would have never abducted Jaycee in the first place.
She's 29 years old now. With 2 kids. One is 15 and the other is 11. She had her first child when she was 14 years old, 3 years after being abducted.
Think about where you were when you were 14. Can you imagine being pregnant. Living in a tent in the backyard 170 miles away from your family?
I have so many questions. Some of which will probably never be answered.
Garrido is now suspected of murders around his residence in the 1990s. As grateful as I am for Jaycee's mother to be reunited with her child, Garrido robbed both of them of 18 years.
Jaycee never had a chance to date. To go to prom. To play in the band. To fail a class. To play a sport. To argue with her parents. The most important decades of her life were taken away from her.
And for a mother to miss out on watching her baby girl grow up is heart-breaking.
And both Garrido and his wife are pleading not-guilty.
Yeah. Good luck with that.
If don't know what I'm talking about read this.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Great column about healthcare
This is pretty much what I wanted to say, but he has a bit more credibility since he is a doctor himself.
It's a long one, but worth it. Read on!
Health care reform inching toward consensus
As of mid-August 2009, the health care insurance reform debate has produced as much vocal public response as any recent social problem — and rightfully so, since it will affect us all sooner or later.
However, instead of thoughtful deliberation and careful consideration of the facts, mainstream TV and print media has focused more on fringe distortions such as claiming the bill will lead to a “federal death squad;” screaming matches between politicians and their constituents or between the electorate itself; and gun-toting, angry mobs.
This column is presented to outline areas of common ground on both sides, identify points of disagreement and shed some light on the basis for them.
Since several bills are in the different houses of Congress, the final version has yet to be written, but farthest along is the Democrat-sponsored HR 3200.
No specific Republican bill has been presented but common themes emerge which this author has extracted from Calif. 25th House District Rep. Howard P. “Buck” McKeon’s Web site.
First, all reasonable persons and both political parties agree we have a problem. The U.S. spends twice as much per capita on health care, ranks about 38th in international health statistics — worst of the industrialized nations — and still has about 47 million people uninsured.
Failure to address this issue will inevitably lead to mounting federal debt that can only be resolved with increased taxes, something neither party nor the public wants.
We must do something. Estimates are that 18,000 people die each year for lack of insurance, and to cover uncompensated care, those with insurance pay over $1,000 in each year’s premium. We all lose if some remain uninsured.
Both parties also agree that some insurance company practices are no longer acceptable. These include denying coverage for pre-existing conditions and rescinding coverage on sick individuals at the next year’s premium renewal.
This alone should help stem medical bankruptcy, which is 50 percent of all bankruptcies — and two-thirds of those folks had insurance when they became ill.
So, we all agree on one big issue. Neither side wishes to allow plans to interfere with a patient’s relationship with his doctor.
As a physician, I know this currently happens in the private industry with HMO or PPO plans, a point Republicans conveniently overlook while they rail against “government” getting between you and your doctor.
In contrast, Democrats say their plan will “let you keep your doctor if you like him” while overlooking the fact that for most of us, our employer chooses our health plan options and if our doctor is not part of his chosen plan, we lose our doctor.
Nonetheless, both sides seek a solution that will not infringe upon the doctor-patient relationship.
Both sides also emphasize preventive measures as part of all plans. These can include incentives to stay fit, not smoke and keep weight under control, increased access to useful medical information, encouraging more doctors to become family physicians, support for community health clinics, payment for immunizations and encouraging school-based service provision.
While the parties differ in several of the particulars, the concept of health promotion is supported by both.
Unfortunately, from a medical/scientific perspective, the true positive benefit and cost savings from such measures have not proven to be as great as first thought, though more research is needed.
Neither side seems anxious to dramatically alter the delivery system by creating new federal facilities, forcing doctors out of fee for service reimbursement or compelling our overabundance of specialists to become family practitioners, nor does either wish to shift to a single-payer plan, something that for doctors and hospitals could dramatically reduce administrative cost, thereby providing additional money for patient services.
Both also wish to increase payments for primary care services, reward high-quality care and integrate different health care sectors to avoid redundancy that leads to increased expense.
Democrats want to reduce payment for medical treatment failures that lead to hospital re-admission; Republicans have not addressed this issue.
Republicans want to increase home care to reduce institutionalization; I’m uncertain if HR 3200 addresses this since I have not read the full bill and it was not mentioned in the summary.
Both parties support changes that allow young adults to remain on their parents’ policies up to age 25.
The Democrats want to establish a scientific body to identify quality measures that work and those that do not; Republicans are labeling this idea a tool for government to control medical care, forgetting that already scientific research drives “best practices” models that have become the standard for all treatment guidelines, including those used by private carriers.
Both sides espouse a policy of no rationing of care. The Republicans allege this is what happens in other nations with nationalized delivery systems and would occur with a “government plan,” failing to recognize that if you have no insurance, care is already rationed. And if you belong to an HMO or PPO, specialty services must be approved and are therefore subject to rationing.
The two main points of disagreement revolve around the “public option” and methods for financing the system revisions.
Democrats propose a public option as the only means to “keep the insurance carriers honest.”
Having practiced with the reforms of the late 1980s that lead to HMO and PPO plans as a tool to control cost, I have seen that insurance carriers did nothing to stem costs and must concur with this fear.
Republicans say this is the first step to “socialized medicine” and have seemingly drawn a line in the sand.
I remind the reader that not only was the same thing said when Medicare was proposed in 1965, but also at present almost 60 percent of health care bills are paid by state or federal entities and we do not call it socialized medicine.
President Obama has acknowledged in recent town hall meetings that government could compete unfairly if it repeatedly used tax funds to bolster the public option and has expressed a desire to “level the playing field.”
If we took the word of our last president about invading another country, perhaps we should hold the same level of confidence in our current chief executive. Maybe he won’t be able to do it, but if he says he will try, shouldn’t we trust him?
The Republicans seem to prefer to trust the private market. Since all major health care entities and pharmaceutical companies are publicly traded companies, we have no doubt about their allegiance to Wall Street. We have dramatic recent experience from the financial sector meltdown how much Wall Street cares about Main Street.
They used us till the house of cards collapsed, relied upon Main Street to bail them out, and now that they are starting to get back on their feet, reward themselves handsomely for their efforts.
Personally, these experiences cause me to trust Wall Street to only look after its “bottom line” and serve Main Street only to the degree that it benefits Wall Street’s profits.
Additionally, a look around the planet will note that the most successful and economical outcomes occur in nations with a strong national payer component, though not necessarily government-delivered service.
We should not seek to “reinvent the wheel” but learn from others who have taken this path before us — like Europe, which was in total collapse after World War II but has since rebuilt not only its economy but a health system much better than ours based on most objective standards.
On the other side is a fear of government intrusion into our lives. We tend to feel government is monolithic, bureaucratic and poorly responsive to the people’s needs.
We say, “Just look at the Post Office.” We hear claims of fraud and abuse of the federal Medicaid and Medicare systems. Many of these claims are probably true, but at the same time we must note that the greatest abuse of these systems has been perpetrated by private health insurance companies.
Additionally, we all trust government to look after our common welfare and safety through fire, police and Homeland Security entities. We don’t rely on private agencies for these services.
Is not health care an equal issue of common welfare and safety?
Concerning financing, both parties are willing to extend some assistance to our poorest to obtain insurance, but the Republicans prefer to do it with tax breaks.
However, if you are too poor to pay taxes, a tax break is meaningless.
Republicans would also do so for small businesses to put them on more even ground with larger corporations. This seems fair and only the amount is in question.
They also propose allowing individuals to purchase insurance across state lines, another not-unreasonable proposition but one that would require common national standards for coverage, removing the issue from state jurisdiction which most Republicans usually prefer.
Republicans have also suggested we develop methods for lowering coverage cost to those aged 55-64 who are retired, pre-retired, semi-retired but have low to modest incomes.
Another option for this rather high-risk group is early inclusion into Medicare, but again Republicans fear that will be more “government” meddling.
To promote systemwide savings, Republicans bring out the tried and true tort reform (malpractice insurance) argument, not recognizing that this in actuality represents a small cost to the health care system and protects the people from medical mistakes that unfortunately are still too common.
They allege that “defensive” medicine drives up the cost, not acknowledging that such behavior is also good financially for doctors, which could be the more significant motivating factor.
The administration hopes to address this issue by better defining “best practices” and advocating coherence to that as a defensible standard, thereby reducing the vagaries exploited in malpractice cases.
A loud and repetitive fear is voiced as “How are we going to pay for it?” not realizing that our non-system is already paying for it in the form of payments to hospitals for uncompensated care from government and insurance, out-of-pocket costs that now represent almost 25 percent of annual spending, and excessive profits to health insurers and pharmaceutical industry not incurred by other nations.
If we already spend twice that of any other nation, we ought to be able to see where we overspend, identify a system that reduces it and avoid any significant overall increase.
Lastly, people fear this is being rushed through without ample debate. Most provisions of HR 3200 take several years to implement and the bill need only be completed by year’s end.
Therefore, we have plenty of time for thoughtful analysis and discussion.
However, if we persist in name-calling, fact-distorting and fear-mongering, our time spent will be in building divisiveness rather than consensus about an issue important to all personally and the nation collectively.
It should be media’s role to foster this discussion rather than give air/print time to the rabble-rousers or quote the latest polls as if the issue is a sporting event with only one winner or loser.
This is our health insurance problem. We all need to win or we will all lose.
I urge The Signal and other media to focus on issues and not rancor, assisting the citizens they serve rather than provoking their anxiety.
As noted above, currently there are more issues upon which we agree than disagree.
Sound, sincere efforts by all citizens and legislators should lead easily to resolution of the others with the recognition that if the chosen path does not produce the desired results, we reserve the right to change in the future.
It's a long one, but worth it. Read on!
Health care reform inching toward consensus
As of mid-August 2009, the health care insurance reform debate has produced as much vocal public response as any recent social problem — and rightfully so, since it will affect us all sooner or later.
However, instead of thoughtful deliberation and careful consideration of the facts, mainstream TV and print media has focused more on fringe distortions such as claiming the bill will lead to a “federal death squad;” screaming matches between politicians and their constituents or between the electorate itself; and gun-toting, angry mobs.
This column is presented to outline areas of common ground on both sides, identify points of disagreement and shed some light on the basis for them.
Since several bills are in the different houses of Congress, the final version has yet to be written, but farthest along is the Democrat-sponsored HR 3200.
No specific Republican bill has been presented but common themes emerge which this author has extracted from Calif. 25th House District Rep. Howard P. “Buck” McKeon’s Web site.
First, all reasonable persons and both political parties agree we have a problem. The U.S. spends twice as much per capita on health care, ranks about 38th in international health statistics — worst of the industrialized nations — and still has about 47 million people uninsured.
Failure to address this issue will inevitably lead to mounting federal debt that can only be resolved with increased taxes, something neither party nor the public wants.
We must do something. Estimates are that 18,000 people die each year for lack of insurance, and to cover uncompensated care, those with insurance pay over $1,000 in each year’s premium. We all lose if some remain uninsured.
Both parties also agree that some insurance company practices are no longer acceptable. These include denying coverage for pre-existing conditions and rescinding coverage on sick individuals at the next year’s premium renewal.
This alone should help stem medical bankruptcy, which is 50 percent of all bankruptcies — and two-thirds of those folks had insurance when they became ill.
So, we all agree on one big issue. Neither side wishes to allow plans to interfere with a patient’s relationship with his doctor.
As a physician, I know this currently happens in the private industry with HMO or PPO plans, a point Republicans conveniently overlook while they rail against “government” getting between you and your doctor.
In contrast, Democrats say their plan will “let you keep your doctor if you like him” while overlooking the fact that for most of us, our employer chooses our health plan options and if our doctor is not part of his chosen plan, we lose our doctor.
Nonetheless, both sides seek a solution that will not infringe upon the doctor-patient relationship.
Both sides also emphasize preventive measures as part of all plans. These can include incentives to stay fit, not smoke and keep weight under control, increased access to useful medical information, encouraging more doctors to become family physicians, support for community health clinics, payment for immunizations and encouraging school-based service provision.
While the parties differ in several of the particulars, the concept of health promotion is supported by both.
Unfortunately, from a medical/scientific perspective, the true positive benefit and cost savings from such measures have not proven to be as great as first thought, though more research is needed.
Neither side seems anxious to dramatically alter the delivery system by creating new federal facilities, forcing doctors out of fee for service reimbursement or compelling our overabundance of specialists to become family practitioners, nor does either wish to shift to a single-payer plan, something that for doctors and hospitals could dramatically reduce administrative cost, thereby providing additional money for patient services.
Both also wish to increase payments for primary care services, reward high-quality care and integrate different health care sectors to avoid redundancy that leads to increased expense.
Democrats want to reduce payment for medical treatment failures that lead to hospital re-admission; Republicans have not addressed this issue.
Republicans want to increase home care to reduce institutionalization; I’m uncertain if HR 3200 addresses this since I have not read the full bill and it was not mentioned in the summary.
Both parties support changes that allow young adults to remain on their parents’ policies up to age 25.
The Democrats want to establish a scientific body to identify quality measures that work and those that do not; Republicans are labeling this idea a tool for government to control medical care, forgetting that already scientific research drives “best practices” models that have become the standard for all treatment guidelines, including those used by private carriers.
Both sides espouse a policy of no rationing of care. The Republicans allege this is what happens in other nations with nationalized delivery systems and would occur with a “government plan,” failing to recognize that if you have no insurance, care is already rationed. And if you belong to an HMO or PPO, specialty services must be approved and are therefore subject to rationing.
The two main points of disagreement revolve around the “public option” and methods for financing the system revisions.
Democrats propose a public option as the only means to “keep the insurance carriers honest.”
Having practiced with the reforms of the late 1980s that lead to HMO and PPO plans as a tool to control cost, I have seen that insurance carriers did nothing to stem costs and must concur with this fear.
Republicans say this is the first step to “socialized medicine” and have seemingly drawn a line in the sand.
I remind the reader that not only was the same thing said when Medicare was proposed in 1965, but also at present almost 60 percent of health care bills are paid by state or federal entities and we do not call it socialized medicine.
President Obama has acknowledged in recent town hall meetings that government could compete unfairly if it repeatedly used tax funds to bolster the public option and has expressed a desire to “level the playing field.”
If we took the word of our last president about invading another country, perhaps we should hold the same level of confidence in our current chief executive. Maybe he won’t be able to do it, but if he says he will try, shouldn’t we trust him?
The Republicans seem to prefer to trust the private market. Since all major health care entities and pharmaceutical companies are publicly traded companies, we have no doubt about their allegiance to Wall Street. We have dramatic recent experience from the financial sector meltdown how much Wall Street cares about Main Street.
They used us till the house of cards collapsed, relied upon Main Street to bail them out, and now that they are starting to get back on their feet, reward themselves handsomely for their efforts.
Personally, these experiences cause me to trust Wall Street to only look after its “bottom line” and serve Main Street only to the degree that it benefits Wall Street’s profits.
Additionally, a look around the planet will note that the most successful and economical outcomes occur in nations with a strong national payer component, though not necessarily government-delivered service.
We should not seek to “reinvent the wheel” but learn from others who have taken this path before us — like Europe, which was in total collapse after World War II but has since rebuilt not only its economy but a health system much better than ours based on most objective standards.
On the other side is a fear of government intrusion into our lives. We tend to feel government is monolithic, bureaucratic and poorly responsive to the people’s needs.
We say, “Just look at the Post Office.” We hear claims of fraud and abuse of the federal Medicaid and Medicare systems. Many of these claims are probably true, but at the same time we must note that the greatest abuse of these systems has been perpetrated by private health insurance companies.
Additionally, we all trust government to look after our common welfare and safety through fire, police and Homeland Security entities. We don’t rely on private agencies for these services.
Is not health care an equal issue of common welfare and safety?
Concerning financing, both parties are willing to extend some assistance to our poorest to obtain insurance, but the Republicans prefer to do it with tax breaks.
However, if you are too poor to pay taxes, a tax break is meaningless.
Republicans would also do so for small businesses to put them on more even ground with larger corporations. This seems fair and only the amount is in question.
They also propose allowing individuals to purchase insurance across state lines, another not-unreasonable proposition but one that would require common national standards for coverage, removing the issue from state jurisdiction which most Republicans usually prefer.
Republicans have also suggested we develop methods for lowering coverage cost to those aged 55-64 who are retired, pre-retired, semi-retired but have low to modest incomes.
Another option for this rather high-risk group is early inclusion into Medicare, but again Republicans fear that will be more “government” meddling.
To promote systemwide savings, Republicans bring out the tried and true tort reform (malpractice insurance) argument, not recognizing that this in actuality represents a small cost to the health care system and protects the people from medical mistakes that unfortunately are still too common.
They allege that “defensive” medicine drives up the cost, not acknowledging that such behavior is also good financially for doctors, which could be the more significant motivating factor.
The administration hopes to address this issue by better defining “best practices” and advocating coherence to that as a defensible standard, thereby reducing the vagaries exploited in malpractice cases.
A loud and repetitive fear is voiced as “How are we going to pay for it?” not realizing that our non-system is already paying for it in the form of payments to hospitals for uncompensated care from government and insurance, out-of-pocket costs that now represent almost 25 percent of annual spending, and excessive profits to health insurers and pharmaceutical industry not incurred by other nations.
If we already spend twice that of any other nation, we ought to be able to see where we overspend, identify a system that reduces it and avoid any significant overall increase.
Lastly, people fear this is being rushed through without ample debate. Most provisions of HR 3200 take several years to implement and the bill need only be completed by year’s end.
Therefore, we have plenty of time for thoughtful analysis and discussion.
However, if we persist in name-calling, fact-distorting and fear-mongering, our time spent will be in building divisiveness rather than consensus about an issue important to all personally and the nation collectively.
It should be media’s role to foster this discussion rather than give air/print time to the rabble-rousers or quote the latest polls as if the issue is a sporting event with only one winner or loser.
This is our health insurance problem. We all need to win or we will all lose.
I urge The Signal and other media to focus on issues and not rancor, assisting the citizens they serve rather than provoking their anxiety.
As noted above, currently there are more issues upon which we agree than disagree.
Sound, sincere efforts by all citizens and legislators should lead easily to resolution of the others with the recognition that if the chosen path does not produce the desired results, we reserve the right to change in the future.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Jaded
People tell me I'm too young to be jaded.
Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not.
I like to think of myself as an optimistic pessimist.
I do struggle though. Not so much with my emotions. But with other people's emotions.
I try to understand. But in the end, you can only understand if you yourself are in that situation, whatever situation that may be.
I have a fairly difficult time trusting people. Even people I've known for years.
I just believe most people hide. They hide their true feelings, true opinions, true thoughts. People keep things to themselves because society might have labeled those feelings, opinions, thoughts as inappropriate. Or wrong. And people fear being judged. They fear rejection.
I feel like people pretend a lot. And although I always have my gut-feeling when someone isn't being genuine, how do you call a person out on that? They only end up covering it up with more lies, tightening the mask they have strapped to their face.
I'm guilty of all of this, too. And I fucking hate it.
I guess it's a part of being human?
Shit sucks.
Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not.
I like to think of myself as an optimistic pessimist.
I do struggle though. Not so much with my emotions. But with other people's emotions.
I try to understand. But in the end, you can only understand if you yourself are in that situation, whatever situation that may be.
I have a fairly difficult time trusting people. Even people I've known for years.
I just believe most people hide. They hide their true feelings, true opinions, true thoughts. People keep things to themselves because society might have labeled those feelings, opinions, thoughts as inappropriate. Or wrong. And people fear being judged. They fear rejection.
I feel like people pretend a lot. And although I always have my gut-feeling when someone isn't being genuine, how do you call a person out on that? They only end up covering it up with more lies, tightening the mask they have strapped to their face.
I'm guilty of all of this, too. And I fucking hate it.
I guess it's a part of being human?
Shit sucks.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Friday, July 31, 2009
The Best of testsfromlastnight.com
Anytime I am having a bad day or I feel shitty about myself, this Web site reminds me that my life really isn't that bad.
(706): Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
(310): we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
(905): Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
(1-905): With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
(412): i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
(502): i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
(703): So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
(1-703): You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
(219): I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
(519): i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
(402): P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
(631): I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
(416): I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
(1-416): u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
(314): My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
(413): He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
(818): Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
(484): then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
(413): i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
(541): If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
(978): my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
(631): Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
(856): Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
(706): Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
(310): we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
(905): Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
(1-905): With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
(412): i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
(502): i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
(703): So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
(1-703): You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
(219): I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
(519): i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
(402): P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
(631): I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
(416): I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
(1-416): u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
(314): My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
(413): He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
(818): Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
(484): then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
(413): i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
(541): If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
(978): my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
(631): Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
(856): Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Monday, July 27, 2009
So true
"Most of the time, your greatest pleasures come from poeple, not things. So in order to be happy, all you have to do is hang out with friends who enjoy life as much as you do."
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Life is funny. People are funny.
I hate competition.
I don't care for it. It makes me feel like an awkward turtle.
That's why sports don't really interest me. I always feel bad for the losing team.
As soon as I feel someone is competing with me, I usually lose on purpose. I'd rather be the loser so that the true loser feels good about themselves.
And it's not like I'm being noble, either. I'm being apathetic.
I also know my self-worth, and I don't need to win a competition to make me feel "good" or "better" or "awesome." I already feel good. I know I'm better. And, I'm super awesome.
Don't get me wrong, I understand the significance in competition. I understand it could be healthy is certain ways. It could push you to be the best you can be, especially if you're competing against someone/something you don't like.
What I don't understand is why you have to compare yourself to someone close, someone you call a friend, in order to make a goal for yourself.
Shouldn't you be making goals for your own self gratification?
Does it really bring so much pleasure to be "better" than a friend? Is that person really a friend if you're competing with them?
Life is funny. People are funny.
And by funny I mean fucked up.
And another thing, why do you care so much about the opinion of others?
I think you are scared of being labeled selfish. Why? It's not a bad thing.
I think you're also scared of not being accepted, and hence look to others for approval.
A friend of mine the other day had a bit of a dilemma and asked me for advice.
She has a tattoo. Her friends think it's awesome. Her girlfriend absolutely hates it. The opportunity to get some ink done (for cheap) presented itself, and my friend didn't know what to do.
That's all she told me.
The first thing that popped into my head was the fact that she didn't mention her own opinion of her tattoo. Did she like it? Did she hate it? (I still have no idea.)
I told her she shouldn't care what other people thought. It's her body. Her tattoo. I also told her that getting work done just because it's cheap isn't a good idea, but that's just my opinion (of which she could discard if she so chooses).
I just find it funny that most people make their decisions solely based off of the opinions of others.
Know yourself. Know what you want, and go for it. Listen to the opinions of others to get a new perspective, but don't let them solely dictate your actions.
And most importantly, be heppy. God is the only one who'll judge you in the end. Fuck everyone else in the meantime.
I don't care for it. It makes me feel like an awkward turtle.
That's why sports don't really interest me. I always feel bad for the losing team.
As soon as I feel someone is competing with me, I usually lose on purpose. I'd rather be the loser so that the true loser feels good about themselves.
And it's not like I'm being noble, either. I'm being apathetic.
I also know my self-worth, and I don't need to win a competition to make me feel "good" or "better" or "awesome." I already feel good. I know I'm better. And, I'm super awesome.
Don't get me wrong, I understand the significance in competition. I understand it could be healthy is certain ways. It could push you to be the best you can be, especially if you're competing against someone/something you don't like.
What I don't understand is why you have to compare yourself to someone close, someone you call a friend, in order to make a goal for yourself.
Shouldn't you be making goals for your own self gratification?
Does it really bring so much pleasure to be "better" than a friend? Is that person really a friend if you're competing with them?
Life is funny. People are funny.
And by funny I mean fucked up.
And another thing, why do you care so much about the opinion of others?
I think you are scared of being labeled selfish. Why? It's not a bad thing.
I think you're also scared of not being accepted, and hence look to others for approval.
A friend of mine the other day had a bit of a dilemma and asked me for advice.
She has a tattoo. Her friends think it's awesome. Her girlfriend absolutely hates it. The opportunity to get some ink done (for cheap) presented itself, and my friend didn't know what to do.
That's all she told me.
The first thing that popped into my head was the fact that she didn't mention her own opinion of her tattoo. Did she like it? Did she hate it? (I still have no idea.)
I told her she shouldn't care what other people thought. It's her body. Her tattoo. I also told her that getting work done just because it's cheap isn't a good idea, but that's just my opinion (of which she could discard if she so chooses).
I just find it funny that most people make their decisions solely based off of the opinions of others.
Know yourself. Know what you want, and go for it. Listen to the opinions of others to get a new perspective, but don't let them solely dictate your actions.
And most importantly, be heppy. God is the only one who'll judge you in the end. Fuck everyone else in the meantime.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
The King of Pop is dead, God save the Queen!
To be honest, I am not shocked that Michael Jackson died today.
To me, he kinda died a long time ago.
Don't get me wrong, love him or hate him, his contribution to the world of music is beyond amazing and definitely deserves recognition. He was a brilliant musician, an outstanding performer, and a phenomenal dancer.
But come on, with his history, who knows what type of life he was leading behind closed doors.
And I'm not necessarily talking about possible drugs he might have indulged with, I'm talking about what he did to his body is unnatural and therefore, he sort of killed himself back in the 80's when he started all of his body modications.
Just my opinion.
To me, he kinda died a long time ago.
Don't get me wrong, love him or hate him, his contribution to the world of music is beyond amazing and definitely deserves recognition. He was a brilliant musician, an outstanding performer, and a phenomenal dancer.
But come on, with his history, who knows what type of life he was leading behind closed doors.
And I'm not necessarily talking about possible drugs he might have indulged with, I'm talking about what he did to his body is unnatural and therefore, he sort of killed himself back in the 80's when he started all of his body modications.
Just my opinion.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Adoration
A friend of mine send me a birthday card. I see this lovely woman only a few times a year, but we spent four gorgeous months in London together four years ago (has it been that long? le sigh).
Inside the card, the first thing she wrote was "I just adore you."
The word adore stood out.
Adore...
I love practically everything in my life (except shaving... Lord how I hate shaving...) and in my opinion, it is easy to love.
I think adoration is up a few levels from love, and thus her card meant that much more to me.
Funny how a simple word can change everything.
I can list off a plethora of things I love: Chocolate. Traveling. Music. Friends. Family. Reading. Buying things for a house I don't have. Wine.
I don't think I can tell you what I adore though, not from the top of my head at least.
Hmm, a thought to ponder I suppose as I sit here consumed by insomnia.
But I will save that for another post.
Inside the card, the first thing she wrote was "I just adore you."
The word adore stood out.
Adore...
I love practically everything in my life (except shaving... Lord how I hate shaving...) and in my opinion, it is easy to love.
I think adoration is up a few levels from love, and thus her card meant that much more to me.
Funny how a simple word can change everything.
I can list off a plethora of things I love: Chocolate. Traveling. Music. Friends. Family. Reading. Buying things for a house I don't have. Wine.
I don't think I can tell you what I adore though, not from the top of my head at least.
Hmm, a thought to ponder I suppose as I sit here consumed by insomnia.
But I will save that for another post.
Friday, June 19, 2009
A call to volunteer
Although I feel like I will never fully understand politics (that's pretty much asking for a life-long migraine. No thanks), I do poke my nose in and out of the scene to see what is going on.
I found Obama's recent call for every American to volunteer in their own community very interesting.
Do you history buffs know of any other president that did this?
It's programs like these that make me like Obama. He's meeting with millions of people in other countries, making appearances and speeches, trying to figure out how to save the auto industry, cracking down on banks, and essentially trying to fix the economy... and then he pulls a program like this for Americans.
Starting June 22, the Obama Administration is launching a "United We Serve" initiative. A call for every American, young and old, from every background, to go out in their community and volunteer.
And it's about time Americans themselves look inward if they want this "change" they keep raving about to happen.
Check it out at here. You can search for groups to volunteer at, or you can register your own.
How awesome would America be if EVERYONE did volunteer somewhere?
I have been meaning to volunteer somewhere for a while now, and I just don't kick my own ass enough to do it. I think I shall sign up somewhere by June 22 and finally do it.
And then I can say Obama was the one to kick my lazy ass out of my seat and volunteer!
I found Obama's recent call for every American to volunteer in their own community very interesting.
Do you history buffs know of any other president that did this?
It's programs like these that make me like Obama. He's meeting with millions of people in other countries, making appearances and speeches, trying to figure out how to save the auto industry, cracking down on banks, and essentially trying to fix the economy... and then he pulls a program like this for Americans.
Starting June 22, the Obama Administration is launching a "United We Serve" initiative. A call for every American, young and old, from every background, to go out in their community and volunteer.
And it's about time Americans themselves look inward if they want this "change" they keep raving about to happen.
Check it out at here. You can search for groups to volunteer at, or you can register your own.
How awesome would America be if EVERYONE did volunteer somewhere?
I have been meaning to volunteer somewhere for a while now, and I just don't kick my own ass enough to do it. I think I shall sign up somewhere by June 22 and finally do it.
And then I can say Obama was the one to kick my lazy ass out of my seat and volunteer!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
I survived
No jury duty for me!
I survived a week without getting called in!
So all those time I didn't show up was worth it. I got lucky enough not to be called in this week!
YAHOO!!!
Time to party party!
I survived a week without getting called in!
So all those time I didn't show up was worth it. I got lucky enough not to be called in this week!
YAHOO!!!
Time to party party!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Jury Duty
I have been lucky enough to avoid Jury Duty for the past... oh... 5 years.
Every time I received my summons in Orange County, I would reply telling them I lived in L.A. County.
Every time I received my summons in Castaic, I told them I was in Irvine for school.
I also happened to avoid it while I was abroad.
And yet, after 5 years, Jury Duty has finally caught up, and I no longer can escape the wrath of early morning commutes to serve as a judger for some poor hapless soul(s).
I was initially supposed to serve a week in April. But I postponed it thinking I was going to Kern County that week to train to be a white water raft guide. (I unfortunately didn't, but I had no jury duty so it was okay.)
I postponed it to only a few weeks later, thinking I should just get it out of the way.
The week arrives. I call that Sunday night to see if I have to come in the morning.
"You do not have to report for service tomorrow morning," the nice automated lady told me, God bless her.
I did this until Wednesday night. Didn't have to come in Monday-Thursday. I end up going out Thursday night, most likely getting a little toasty, and passed out without calling.
I wake up and for whatever reason, am reminded of jury duty. It's 9 a.m. and I call to check if I had to come in, wishfully thinking I probably didn't have to since I didn't have to all week.
"You were supposed to report for duty this morning at 8:30 a.m."
Fuck.
"Please stay on the line as we connect you so you can reschedule your service."
I tell the dude to just give me jury duty for the following week. Again. I just want to get this out of the way.
Sunday rolls around and I totally forget to call until Monday morning.
"You were supposed to report for duty this morning at 8:30 a.m."
Fuck! On a Monday!
Again I reschedule for the following week. I want to get it out of the way. At this point, jury duty is such a pain in the ass, robbing me of my weeks of being a delinquent and drinking my liver away.
I remember to call Sunday and Monday, but forget to call Tuesday night.
I think you know where this is going...
"You were supposed to report for duty this morning at 8:30 a.m."
Fuck. My. Ass. Sideways.
I'm on the phone with the dude trying to reschedule, and I tell him that I'm super cluster-fucked with school and work in the evening that I continuously forget to call. I ask if I can postpone my service to mid-June, after school is out and life is a little less hectic.
He complied with no problems and told me he would send me a new form with the date and everything, blah blah blah.
To make a short story long (as I just did), I have jury duty this week, and so far, I haven't had to report. That leaves Friday.
I was good this time. I set an alarm on my phone everyday for 5 p.m., prompting me to call and check if I have to report the following morning.
Clearly, it worked.
I hope that I don't have to report on Friday, and that I will have this Jury Duty hell over with.
At the same time, I do want to experience the whole jury duty aspect and see what it's all about.
Then again, if I land a murder case where I have to serve for months at a time, I will be a sad panda.
Anyway, I'm going out to Springbok tomorrow night. Karaoke night.
I hope my alarm works, that I am sober enough to hear my phone, and coordinated enough to call and check.
Reminders are welcome, and greatly appreciated.
Every time I received my summons in Orange County, I would reply telling them I lived in L.A. County.
Every time I received my summons in Castaic, I told them I was in Irvine for school.
I also happened to avoid it while I was abroad.
And yet, after 5 years, Jury Duty has finally caught up, and I no longer can escape the wrath of early morning commutes to serve as a judger for some poor hapless soul(s).
I was initially supposed to serve a week in April. But I postponed it thinking I was going to Kern County that week to train to be a white water raft guide. (I unfortunately didn't, but I had no jury duty so it was okay.)
I postponed it to only a few weeks later, thinking I should just get it out of the way.
The week arrives. I call that Sunday night to see if I have to come in the morning.
"You do not have to report for service tomorrow morning," the nice automated lady told me, God bless her.
I did this until Wednesday night. Didn't have to come in Monday-Thursday. I end up going out Thursday night, most likely getting a little toasty, and passed out without calling.
I wake up and for whatever reason, am reminded of jury duty. It's 9 a.m. and I call to check if I had to come in, wishfully thinking I probably didn't have to since I didn't have to all week.
"You were supposed to report for duty this morning at 8:30 a.m."
Fuck.
"Please stay on the line as we connect you so you can reschedule your service."
I tell the dude to just give me jury duty for the following week. Again. I just want to get this out of the way.
Sunday rolls around and I totally forget to call until Monday morning.
"You were supposed to report for duty this morning at 8:30 a.m."
Fuck! On a Monday!
Again I reschedule for the following week. I want to get it out of the way. At this point, jury duty is such a pain in the ass, robbing me of my weeks of being a delinquent and drinking my liver away.
I remember to call Sunday and Monday, but forget to call Tuesday night.
I think you know where this is going...
"You were supposed to report for duty this morning at 8:30 a.m."
Fuck. My. Ass. Sideways.
I'm on the phone with the dude trying to reschedule, and I tell him that I'm super cluster-fucked with school and work in the evening that I continuously forget to call. I ask if I can postpone my service to mid-June, after school is out and life is a little less hectic.
He complied with no problems and told me he would send me a new form with the date and everything, blah blah blah.
To make a short story long (as I just did), I have jury duty this week, and so far, I haven't had to report. That leaves Friday.
I was good this time. I set an alarm on my phone everyday for 5 p.m., prompting me to call and check if I have to report the following morning.
Clearly, it worked.
I hope that I don't have to report on Friday, and that I will have this Jury Duty hell over with.
At the same time, I do want to experience the whole jury duty aspect and see what it's all about.
Then again, if I land a murder case where I have to serve for months at a time, I will be a sad panda.
Anyway, I'm going out to Springbok tomorrow night. Karaoke night.
I hope my alarm works, that I am sober enough to hear my phone, and coordinated enough to call and check.
Reminders are welcome, and greatly appreciated.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
I've been a UCI alumni for a year now.
What have I done since my college years as an anteater? Not as much as I wanted to accomplish, but let's reflect:
I worked as a Technical Writer for an electrical engineering company in Glendale when I graduated. Learned nothing, for the most part, and ate a lot of sushi for free.
Worked out a lot right after college. Just recently getting back into the swing of working out consistently and eating healthy. Yet, although I feel like I've toned up a bit, I actually weigh more than I did this time last year. (sad face)
Got hired as a copy editor/features writer for a local paper.
To go along with the previous, I'm a published writer!
Slept on a couch since moving back home. No room. No privacy. No "personal escape."
Drank a lot of alcohol.
Smoked a lot of cigarettes.
Climbed Mt. Whitney.
Reconnected with people from high school.
Continued my education at College of the Canyons.
Went to Mexico for a week on a cruise.
Advanced on the guitar, but have yet to write a song.
Improved as a snowboarder.
Lived paycheck to paycheck.
Found a potential career path.
Was left disappointed by cupid some more.
Drank a lot of alcohol.
Got a tattoo.
Ah yes... some good... some disappointing...
In the end I will look back at this year as being a good one, cause I tend to reminisce about the good things and forget about the bad... so *shrugs* WHATEVER!
What have I done since my college years as an anteater? Not as much as I wanted to accomplish, but let's reflect:
I worked as a Technical Writer for an electrical engineering company in Glendale when I graduated. Learned nothing, for the most part, and ate a lot of sushi for free.
Worked out a lot right after college. Just recently getting back into the swing of working out consistently and eating healthy. Yet, although I feel like I've toned up a bit, I actually weigh more than I did this time last year. (sad face)
Got hired as a copy editor/features writer for a local paper.
To go along with the previous, I'm a published writer!
Slept on a couch since moving back home. No room. No privacy. No "personal escape."
Drank a lot of alcohol.
Smoked a lot of cigarettes.
Climbed Mt. Whitney.
Reconnected with people from high school.
Continued my education at College of the Canyons.
Went to Mexico for a week on a cruise.
Advanced on the guitar, but have yet to write a song.
Improved as a snowboarder.
Lived paycheck to paycheck.
Found a potential career path.
Was left disappointed by cupid some more.
Drank a lot of alcohol.
Got a tattoo.
Ah yes... some good... some disappointing...
In the end I will look back at this year as being a good one, cause I tend to reminisce about the good things and forget about the bad... so *shrugs* WHATEVER!
Friday, June 12, 2009
Bleeding cunts
As I sit here in absolute, breath-robbing pain, I felt compelled to share how awesome women are to go through hell once a month (if you're regular!) and still be compassionate, amazing, and loving creatures.
Most people shy away from talking about periods, and I don't understand why there is such a negative stigma to it. Even women themselves don't like talking about their bleeding cunts, and I don't understand why.
First off, it's natural. Every woman bleeds. Your mom. Your sister. Your gramma. Your aunt. Your girlfriend or wife.
If anything, it should be talked about more.
Men should learn about it so they can understand the hell we women have to endure, depending on the period.
We are such complicated creatures... sometimes our hormones take complete control and we are often left dumbfounded at how our bleeding cunts effect us.
Well, at least I do.
Even now, I'm 24 (ew) and every period is different.
I think the focus of the distaste for talking about periods is the blood, which is understandable. But people shouldn't think in those terms.
We should start thinking in terms of Period = hormonal roller coaster.
The older I get, the more I experience PMS (which makes sense since it's apparently one of the risk factors...)
PMS. That's an actual medical condition. Premenstrual syndrome. A fucked up condition that is different for every woman and effects pretty much your entire existence.
I practically cried the other day at work because I couldn't figure out how to layout the front page. Nothing was going my way and I kept hitting wall after wall. My eyes swelled up and I was on the verge of tears. OVER WHAT? A stupid layout! Really?
I am the Queen of Mood Swings. I don't understand how some people deal with my ass. But then again, if they knew I was PMSing, maybe they would understand instead of viewing me as a psycho.
Ughh.... I need to go curl up in a ball and pray to God to give me strength to get through this day.
And hopefully I won't OD on pain killers. I've already taken Midol and Tylenol and I don't think they are working...
Most people shy away from talking about periods, and I don't understand why there is such a negative stigma to it. Even women themselves don't like talking about their bleeding cunts, and I don't understand why.
First off, it's natural. Every woman bleeds. Your mom. Your sister. Your gramma. Your aunt. Your girlfriend or wife.
If anything, it should be talked about more.
Men should learn about it so they can understand the hell we women have to endure, depending on the period.
We are such complicated creatures... sometimes our hormones take complete control and we are often left dumbfounded at how our bleeding cunts effect us.
Well, at least I do.
Even now, I'm 24 (ew) and every period is different.
I think the focus of the distaste for talking about periods is the blood, which is understandable. But people shouldn't think in those terms.
We should start thinking in terms of Period = hormonal roller coaster.
The older I get, the more I experience PMS (which makes sense since it's apparently one of the risk factors...)
PMS. That's an actual medical condition. Premenstrual syndrome. A fucked up condition that is different for every woman and effects pretty much your entire existence.
I practically cried the other day at work because I couldn't figure out how to layout the front page. Nothing was going my way and I kept hitting wall after wall. My eyes swelled up and I was on the verge of tears. OVER WHAT? A stupid layout! Really?
I am the Queen of Mood Swings. I don't understand how some people deal with my ass. But then again, if they knew I was PMSing, maybe they would understand instead of viewing me as a psycho.
Ughh.... I need to go curl up in a ball and pray to God to give me strength to get through this day.
And hopefully I won't OD on pain killers. I've already taken Midol and Tylenol and I don't think they are working...
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Dustin's pad
I'm apartment (studio, really) sitting for a friend of mine who is in Europe right now. I moved in Monday, despite the fact that Dustin left on Saturday. I had bidness to take care of.
Dustin has seriously blessed me with 2 weeks of a much needed "re-centering" period. He lives in a beautiful little studio in Bridgeport in Valencia, literally down the street from where I work and go to the gym.
Since I am temporarily living in Valencia for two weeks, I've decided to take advantage and ride my bike everywhere.
I rode my bike to work for the first time yesterday. It only took me 20 min to get there! And I rode with my work clothes. Including my 3-inch heels. Hoo-ah.
Riding back home at night was even pleasant. Valencia is so quiet. It was a peaceful ride back, allowing me to focus my thoughts.
I've only been at Dustin's for a few days, and I have already accomplished so much. Who knew living by yourself is so damn productive? I've never had a place I can call my own, expect my last year in college when I had a room to myself in a dorm room ... but that hardly counts since I didn't have a kitchen, living room, balcony, etc.
I can seriously go on and on about this, but I won't. I'm just having a ball spending a lot of time with my favorite person, me.
Took a very important test on Monday. A test that essentially is the first step in a series of steps directing me to a whole new life. I'll give proper details in 6 weeks when I find out if I passed or not.
Turned 24 a week ago or so. Still young!
In other good news, I'm no longer writing for the faith section of the paper. I'm back on features, which is much preferred! If it wasn't for my co-workers, I would really hate my job.
Other than that, I'm enjoying the start of my summer by working out, eating right, reading, playing guitar, and spending countless hours in from of my computer reading all the blogs that I subscribe to.
Dustin has seriously blessed me with 2 weeks of a much needed "re-centering" period. He lives in a beautiful little studio in Bridgeport in Valencia, literally down the street from where I work and go to the gym.
Since I am temporarily living in Valencia for two weeks, I've decided to take advantage and ride my bike everywhere.
I rode my bike to work for the first time yesterday. It only took me 20 min to get there! And I rode with my work clothes. Including my 3-inch heels. Hoo-ah.
Riding back home at night was even pleasant. Valencia is so quiet. It was a peaceful ride back, allowing me to focus my thoughts.
I've only been at Dustin's for a few days, and I have already accomplished so much. Who knew living by yourself is so damn productive? I've never had a place I can call my own, expect my last year in college when I had a room to myself in a dorm room ... but that hardly counts since I didn't have a kitchen, living room, balcony, etc.
I can seriously go on and on about this, but I won't. I'm just having a ball spending a lot of time with my favorite person, me.
Took a very important test on Monday. A test that essentially is the first step in a series of steps directing me to a whole new life. I'll give proper details in 6 weeks when I find out if I passed or not.
Turned 24 a week ago or so. Still young!
In other good news, I'm no longer writing for the faith section of the paper. I'm back on features, which is much preferred! If it wasn't for my co-workers, I would really hate my job.
Other than that, I'm enjoying the start of my summer by working out, eating right, reading, playing guitar, and spending countless hours in from of my computer reading all the blogs that I subscribe to.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Women of my dreams
I've been single since June 25, 2005.
I've exposed myself to a lot of different groups of people and geographical locations since, hoping to meet someone that strikes my fancy.
And although I have met plenty of dudes and went on plenty of dates, it seems that I connected the best with... well... a few girls.
These girls provided me certain aspects/qualities I look for in a hetero-relationship.
Well, minus the dick of course.
Here is a list why I should be a lesbian, but am not because I love the cock.
1. Jamie: My fiance. I proposed to her on facebook and she accepted me. Jamie and I are retardedly similar, it's scary. We are both vulgar, blunt, honest, comfortable in our own skin, confident, sexy, smart, hilarious and shameless.
We worked together on our college yearbook. I first fell in love with her for her dedication and passion to it, something most people didn't give a flying fuck about. She also had the most out-there sense of humor... something I find to be rare but much appreciated.
She has a way of reading me too... as if she knows exactly what is going on in my head... even if it's inappropriate. And she doesn't' judge me for anything. If anything, she enjoys my flaws as a decent human being, makes fun of me, and accepts me for who I am.
2. Vivie: It's probably my little obsession with people who look like Vietnamese orphan children, but I absolutely adore this woman. I met her as an RA and we were clearly opposites from the start. But that didn't stop her from trying to get to know me. I think the fact that we are so different attracted us to one another. We spend a lot of time together, swimming in each others minds.
After several months, we discovered we share more similarities than we thought.
Vivie has a very unique set of eyes. She sees the world in a light I think everyone should have. If half of the people Vivie's age saw the world the way she does, this world would be ten times better off.
She is intelligent, observant, hilarious, real, caring, kind, comfortable in her shoes, confident, aware, and adorable. Heart of gold this woman has. As well as mine.
If neither of us finds a man, we've decided that I would have her child and she would have mine. How? Find a sperm donor within our families. Hence our status on facebook: It's complicated.
Vietnamese-Polish babies? Sexiness.
3. The Katies: Although Katie Uno and Katie Due are married, I happen to be their love affair on the side... which I'm okay with.
The Katies and I will always share a deep, passionate love... and we will always put each other first before any guy. Currently, both girls have significant others. Thier men know exactly where they stand. Behind the tri-pod.
Our connection started out through living in Rome, and anything Italian will forever hold us together like glue. If life decides to take a shit on us, we're all selling our possessions and buying a house in Tuscany... Under the Tuscan Sun style.
4. Shannon: Girlfriend. Although I've known this lady since I was 11, my love for her didn't truly spark til summer 2008. She is one of the strongest people I know. Not only physically, but emotionally, romantically, sexually, and even economically! (so responsible).
I adore her for her commitment to anything she puts her head to, her love of close friends, and her "I don't give a fuck" attitude. She is who she is, and if you don't like it, sucks for you.
Shannon and I are a part of a quad of girls called the girlies. The other two happen to have significant others. Naturally Shannon and I hang out a lot since the other two have their men... and thus we became a couple so we don't feel left out on the couple events. :)
If neither of us finds a man, we've planned to build a huge house in an urban location where we would each have our own "wing" of the house for our FUN FRIENDS. We will also be have ostriches, llamas, turtles and a monkey.
5. Grace: My most recent girlfriend. We are also very much a like, despite our different pasts. Grace amazes me with her confidence. Although most people take it as arrogance or call her egotistic, I think she's one spicy cinnamon jelly bean... and there's nothing but sexiness in that.
We bond over our talents in the communications/journalism field... but we also have the same outlook on a lot of things in life...which is rare for me to find since I am... well a bit odd.
Plus, she's a redhead... and I'm obsessed with redheads. Redheads are either really ugly or absolutely gorgeous. There is no middle ground. Grace, naturally, lands in the latter sect.
If neither of us finds a man, we've decided to move to Arizona. Rent is cheap and the boys are hot!
What ALL these women have in common (besides the obvious intelligence, wit, gorgeousness, etc), is that Jamie, Vivie, the Katies, Shannon, and Grace all know their worth. These women don't settle. They don't compare themselves to anyone or anyone else's standards. They work hard, and they know how to play hard (in different ways... but it's still playing!) And if anything, that is what I respect and love the most about these women.
More women need to find their self worth.
These women also have the ability to carry conversation... something that unfortunately lacks for some reason if you have a penis. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are plenty of men out there that can... but... where they at?
I'm not trying to whine about boys. I enjoy being single. I am in no rush to get married or start a family. There are still so many things on my To Do List before I flip to that chapter.
And just for the record, I am not bisexual. I would never consider dating a woman.
I do believe in Hetero-life mates though.
:)
I've exposed myself to a lot of different groups of people and geographical locations since, hoping to meet someone that strikes my fancy.
And although I have met plenty of dudes and went on plenty of dates, it seems that I connected the best with... well... a few girls.
These girls provided me certain aspects/qualities I look for in a hetero-relationship.
Well, minus the dick of course.
Here is a list why I should be a lesbian, but am not because I love the cock.
1. Jamie: My fiance. I proposed to her on facebook and she accepted me. Jamie and I are retardedly similar, it's scary. We are both vulgar, blunt, honest, comfortable in our own skin, confident, sexy, smart, hilarious and shameless.
We worked together on our college yearbook. I first fell in love with her for her dedication and passion to it, something most people didn't give a flying fuck about. She also had the most out-there sense of humor... something I find to be rare but much appreciated.
She has a way of reading me too... as if she knows exactly what is going on in my head... even if it's inappropriate. And she doesn't' judge me for anything. If anything, she enjoys my flaws as a decent human being, makes fun of me, and accepts me for who I am.
2. Vivie: It's probably my little obsession with people who look like Vietnamese orphan children, but I absolutely adore this woman. I met her as an RA and we were clearly opposites from the start. But that didn't stop her from trying to get to know me. I think the fact that we are so different attracted us to one another. We spend a lot of time together, swimming in each others minds.
After several months, we discovered we share more similarities than we thought.
Vivie has a very unique set of eyes. She sees the world in a light I think everyone should have. If half of the people Vivie's age saw the world the way she does, this world would be ten times better off.
She is intelligent, observant, hilarious, real, caring, kind, comfortable in her shoes, confident, aware, and adorable. Heart of gold this woman has. As well as mine.
If neither of us finds a man, we've decided that I would have her child and she would have mine. How? Find a sperm donor within our families. Hence our status on facebook: It's complicated.
Vietnamese-Polish babies? Sexiness.
3. The Katies: Although Katie Uno and Katie Due are married, I happen to be their love affair on the side... which I'm okay with.
The Katies and I will always share a deep, passionate love... and we will always put each other first before any guy. Currently, both girls have significant others. Thier men know exactly where they stand. Behind the tri-pod.
Our connection started out through living in Rome, and anything Italian will forever hold us together like glue. If life decides to take a shit on us, we're all selling our possessions and buying a house in Tuscany... Under the Tuscan Sun style.
4. Shannon: Girlfriend. Although I've known this lady since I was 11, my love for her didn't truly spark til summer 2008. She is one of the strongest people I know. Not only physically, but emotionally, romantically, sexually, and even economically! (so responsible).
I adore her for her commitment to anything she puts her head to, her love of close friends, and her "I don't give a fuck" attitude. She is who she is, and if you don't like it, sucks for you.
Shannon and I are a part of a quad of girls called the girlies. The other two happen to have significant others. Naturally Shannon and I hang out a lot since the other two have their men... and thus we became a couple so we don't feel left out on the couple events. :)
If neither of us finds a man, we've planned to build a huge house in an urban location where we would each have our own "wing" of the house for our FUN FRIENDS. We will also be have ostriches, llamas, turtles and a monkey.
5. Grace: My most recent girlfriend. We are also very much a like, despite our different pasts. Grace amazes me with her confidence. Although most people take it as arrogance or call her egotistic, I think she's one spicy cinnamon jelly bean... and there's nothing but sexiness in that.
We bond over our talents in the communications/journalism field... but we also have the same outlook on a lot of things in life...which is rare for me to find since I am... well a bit odd.
Plus, she's a redhead... and I'm obsessed with redheads. Redheads are either really ugly or absolutely gorgeous. There is no middle ground. Grace, naturally, lands in the latter sect.
If neither of us finds a man, we've decided to move to Arizona. Rent is cheap and the boys are hot!
What ALL these women have in common (besides the obvious intelligence, wit, gorgeousness, etc), is that Jamie, Vivie, the Katies, Shannon, and Grace all know their worth. These women don't settle. They don't compare themselves to anyone or anyone else's standards. They work hard, and they know how to play hard (in different ways... but it's still playing!) And if anything, that is what I respect and love the most about these women.
More women need to find their self worth.
These women also have the ability to carry conversation... something that unfortunately lacks for some reason if you have a penis. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are plenty of men out there that can... but... where they at?
I'm not trying to whine about boys. I enjoy being single. I am in no rush to get married or start a family. There are still so many things on my To Do List before I flip to that chapter.
And just for the record, I am not bisexual. I would never consider dating a woman.
I do believe in Hetero-life mates though.
:)
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Generation Overwhelmed
I love reading literary debates where people argue a point without even seeing one another's faces.
Here's one that a friend posted of her facebook.
It sheds some good light on us twenty-somethings.
Read it here.
And one thing to keep in mind is that we shouldn't use this as an excuse for our generation... but as a diagnosis. (Credit = Jay Lubow.)
What is our solution?
Here's one that a friend posted of her facebook.
It sheds some good light on us twenty-somethings.
Read it here.
And one thing to keep in mind is that we shouldn't use this as an excuse for our generation... but as a diagnosis. (Credit = Jay Lubow.)
What is our solution?
Monday, April 13, 2009
Wandering mind wondering
I have been up since 2 am.
Went to bed at 9 pm last night... or rather... I passed out at that time.
Gotta love holidays. Pretty much drank ALL day with the family.
And I didn't wake up with a hangover! Finally. For whatever reason, I've been waking up with hangovers recently...which is weird since I typically don't get them.
In any case... I'm having second thoughts about my future... and what I want to do with it.
I don't think I have the patience, the drive, or the commitment right now for school.
All I really want to do is travel. Or live in the mountains.
I renewed my season pass to Mammoth for next year, so that means I'll be in California for another year.
Afterward, I think I just might pick up and move to Poland, ya know, to postpone growing up some more. :)
Went to bed at 9 pm last night... or rather... I passed out at that time.
Gotta love holidays. Pretty much drank ALL day with the family.
And I didn't wake up with a hangover! Finally. For whatever reason, I've been waking up with hangovers recently...which is weird since I typically don't get them.
In any case... I'm having second thoughts about my future... and what I want to do with it.
I don't think I have the patience, the drive, or the commitment right now for school.
All I really want to do is travel. Or live in the mountains.
I renewed my season pass to Mammoth for next year, so that means I'll be in California for another year.
Afterward, I think I just might pick up and move to Poland, ya know, to postpone growing up some more. :)
Monday, April 6, 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Where the flying cars?
It's really upsetting to look at the world today, in the year 2009, and see how money driven it really is.
Remember as a child, we heard stories of the future and how it would include robots and flying cars and shit?
Well, fuck the flying cars...
Where are the electric cars?
Where are the eco-friendly machines, not using gas and polluting the air we breathe?
The first electric car was made in the 1830s. The fucking eighteen-thirties!
My mom and were talking about how ridiculous the vast majority of cars out there are still using gas. At this point, wouldn't you think at least, AT LEAST, 50% of cars should be electric ones?
She also mentioned something I wasn't aware of. She spoke of some sort of movie that documented what apparently happened in the early 1990s. I am paraphrasing here, so I might get some of this wrong, but she mentioned a lot of electric cars were made and released, but because they would essentially ruin the gas companies, someone worked out a deal where all electric cars were to be bought back from satisfied consumers (and apparently people who bought these cars absolutely loved them) and destroyed.
What. the. fuck.
Thanks to Google and a bit of research (aka typing in 'electric cars'), there is a documentary out there called "Who killed the electric car?" I don't know if it's the same one my mom was talking about, but whatever.
Hmmm. Guess what I'll be doing tomorrow?
In the meantime, I'm going to bed. I can't seem to get myself to fall asleep until 2 am, and not only is it unhealthy... I'm getting annoyed by it.
I need help.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Don't ever drink alone
As I sit here, drinking Johnny Walker with some Coke Zero (no calories!), I can't seem to focus on any one thing.
I am one of those multi-colored bouncy balls on steroids, bouncing off of everything, even the soft things like couches and stuffed animals.
My body is physically exhausted right now. And my mind should be as well, but it's not. I just worked from 7 a.m. to 11 p.m. for two days straight. Mind you, I don't ever really fall asleep before 2 a.m. for whatever reason... and still... my mind wanders. Spurting out a million ideas and thoughts at the same time.
Even the songs that get stuck in my head are usually completely random.
Today for example, I had several songs stuck in my head for varying hours throughout my day.
I had a tune from a kid's show stuck in my head most of my morning. Then, randomly I had Boyz II Men's "All My Life" stuck in my head, which is completely out of a rhino's butt since I haven't heard that song since a middle school dance. Then I had the chorus of Tenacious D's "Tribute" on play in my mind, only to be followed by Queen's "Don't Try Suicide."
This all happened during my Signal work shift.
I also talk to myself, just like any normal person does, and I want to do SO much right now. Most of my ideas conflict though... and it's hard.
Guess it's a trait of a Gemini.
Someone mentioned the other day that having a passion in life is what makes life worth living. That it gives you a purpose of some sort.
But what if you don't have a passion?
Or maybe you feel as if you have several?
What is the definition of "a passion" anyway? Here is what dictionary.com had to say.
Funny how some definitions seem to contradict themselves.
I feel like I have a passion for a lot of things... and that's the problem. If you have a passion for something, wouldn't you consistently be active in that passion? Shouldn't this passion compel you to dive completely into it and know absolutely everything about it? As if you were training for the Olympics? Or becoming an expert?
If that's the case, I have no passion. And I haven't decided if that's depressing or not yet.
It's depressing in the fact that I feel like I am no expert in any one thing. And that I happen to be drawn to certain things for frivolous reasons mainly because they selfishly satisfy me in one way or another.
On the other hand though, it's not depressing since I am essentially a "jack of all trades" who knows a little bit about a lot of issues. That, and the fact that it keeps my life interesting since I fill it with so much variety.
I don't know.
Things I feel like I have a potential absolute passion for:
1. Music: it's in my blood. Although I suck at lyric writing, everything else comes pretty naturally to me. Music is, essentially, life. But apparently that's a cliche nowadays.
2. Mother nature: I'm definitely a tree hugger, love the outdoors, and am constantly finding ways to be kinder to the earth. Currently I am looking into joining some sort of group that plants trees and cleans up trails for hikers/campers.
3. People/helping others: I don't know much about politics, economics, math (fuck math), taxes, how the world works, etc... but I feel like I have a really good grasp on humanity and interpersonal relationships. I read people fairly well, but more importantly, I understand how most people think. Being an RA definitely help me realize this, which has extended itself to my friends, family, co-workers, and strangers. I also have a deep desire to help people struggling with whatever, and I constantly feel like I have to be the bearer of light to them. Although I might not always "succeed" in bringing this light... I always feel like my involvement has helped in some way... even if it is fairly insignificant.
4. Traveling: Who wouldn't be passionate about this? The problem with this is that it's not something that you can technically do everyday. Not unless it's weaved into your career somehow.
Maybe my passion is myself. I have a passion to follow my heart and my selfish desires. To constantly please myself. Would that count?
I'm out of Johnny Walker. Time for bed.
I am one of those multi-colored bouncy balls on steroids, bouncing off of everything, even the soft things like couches and stuffed animals.
My body is physically exhausted right now. And my mind should be as well, but it's not. I just worked from 7 a.m. to 11 p.m. for two days straight. Mind you, I don't ever really fall asleep before 2 a.m. for whatever reason... and still... my mind wanders. Spurting out a million ideas and thoughts at the same time.
Even the songs that get stuck in my head are usually completely random.
Today for example, I had several songs stuck in my head for varying hours throughout my day.
I had a tune from a kid's show stuck in my head most of my morning. Then, randomly I had Boyz II Men's "All My Life" stuck in my head, which is completely out of a rhino's butt since I haven't heard that song since a middle school dance. Then I had the chorus of Tenacious D's "Tribute" on play in my mind, only to be followed by Queen's "Don't Try Suicide."
This all happened during my Signal work shift.
I also talk to myself, just like any normal person does, and I want to do SO much right now. Most of my ideas conflict though... and it's hard.
Guess it's a trait of a Gemini.
Someone mentioned the other day that having a passion in life is what makes life worth living. That it gives you a purpose of some sort.
But what if you don't have a passion?
Or maybe you feel as if you have several?
What is the definition of "a passion" anyway? Here is what dictionary.com had to say.
pas⋅sion
–noun| 1. | any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate. |
| 2. | strong amorous feeling or desire; love; ardor. |
| 3. | strong sexual desire; lust. |
| 4. | an instance or experience of strong love or sexual desire. |
| 5. | a person toward whom one feels strong love or sexual desire. |
| 6. | a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything: a passion for music. |
| 7. | the object of such a fondness or desire: Accuracy became a passion with him. |
| 8. | an outburst of strong emotion or feeling: He suddenly broke into a passion of bitter words. |
| 9. | violent anger. |
| 10. | the state of being acted upon or affected by something external, esp. something alien to one's nature or one's customary behavior |
Funny how some definitions seem to contradict themselves.
I feel like I have a passion for a lot of things... and that's the problem. If you have a passion for something, wouldn't you consistently be active in that passion? Shouldn't this passion compel you to dive completely into it and know absolutely everything about it? As if you were training for the Olympics? Or becoming an expert?
If that's the case, I have no passion. And I haven't decided if that's depressing or not yet.
It's depressing in the fact that I feel like I am no expert in any one thing. And that I happen to be drawn to certain things for frivolous reasons mainly because they selfishly satisfy me in one way or another.
On the other hand though, it's not depressing since I am essentially a "jack of all trades" who knows a little bit about a lot of issues. That, and the fact that it keeps my life interesting since I fill it with so much variety.
I don't know.
Things I feel like I have a potential absolute passion for:
1. Music: it's in my blood. Although I suck at lyric writing, everything else comes pretty naturally to me. Music is, essentially, life. But apparently that's a cliche nowadays.
2. Mother nature: I'm definitely a tree hugger, love the outdoors, and am constantly finding ways to be kinder to the earth. Currently I am looking into joining some sort of group that plants trees and cleans up trails for hikers/campers.
3. People/helping others: I don't know much about politics, economics, math (fuck math), taxes, how the world works, etc... but I feel like I have a really good grasp on humanity and interpersonal relationships. I read people fairly well, but more importantly, I understand how most people think. Being an RA definitely help me realize this, which has extended itself to my friends, family, co-workers, and strangers. I also have a deep desire to help people struggling with whatever, and I constantly feel like I have to be the bearer of light to them. Although I might not always "succeed" in bringing this light... I always feel like my involvement has helped in some way... even if it is fairly insignificant.
4. Traveling: Who wouldn't be passionate about this? The problem with this is that it's not something that you can technically do everyday. Not unless it's weaved into your career somehow.
Maybe my passion is myself. I have a passion to follow my heart and my selfish desires. To constantly please myself. Would that count?
I'm out of Johnny Walker. Time for bed.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Beauty in this ugly world
There is this amazing website called http://pixdaus.com/
I use it as an escape. Whenever I feel overwhelmed with how fast time flies by, angry at something largely insignificant, stressed out from frivolous day-to-day situations... I visit this site and it calms me down.
I typically put in my head phones and play Enigma. It helps to further pacify me.
These photos also remind me that this world isn't as ugly as it seems to be portrayed as of late.
Check these out and tell me they are not beyond beautiful. If you do, I will slap you in the balls.
I save my favorite ones and set them as my background to my computer screens at work.
I'm not gonna lie, they change every few days.
I use it as an escape. Whenever I feel overwhelmed with how fast time flies by, angry at something largely insignificant, stressed out from frivolous day-to-day situations... I visit this site and it calms me down.
I typically put in my head phones and play Enigma. It helps to further pacify me.
These photos also remind me that this world isn't as ugly as it seems to be portrayed as of late.
Check these out and tell me they are not beyond beautiful. If you do, I will slap you in the balls.
I save my favorite ones and set them as my background to my computer screens at work.
I'm not gonna lie, they change every few days.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Family dinners are the best
I went home on my dinner break from work to eat with my entire family.
All of our schedules are different so we rarely sit together at a meal anymore. I came home excited to eat a hearty, delicious, home-cooked meal and to spend time with my family, particularly my dad and my older brother.
Tata is transitioning to be a full time truck driver, so I only see him a few times a week if we're both home at the moment.
And Mickey works in the morning and I work in the evening so we rarely see one another either.
I walk through the door and Mickey and Tata are putting the food on the table. Perfect timing. We sit and eat (halibut, shrimp, steamed veggies, and potatoes...yum!) and we're having a fun conversation, laughing and making fun of one another and other people.
And then I open my mouth and say something about hippies, and how I want to be one, and while Mickey and Matthew are just laughing at me calling me the furthest thing away from hippies since I shower, avoid smoking pot, wear shoes and don't drive a VW bus, my dad gets all political blaming what is happening now on the hippie movement.
Exqueeze me? A baking powder?
The entire mood is killed, and the convo turns political.
I don't mind talking politics, as long as it's with open minded, non-judemental, and logical people.
It just so happens my parents, specifically my mother, are none of those things.
I drift off and stop paying attention (because there's no winning with them) and start cleaning up the dishes. Matt quickly joins me and we escape the convo.
I just think its funny. Being all together... all five of us.... doesn't happen often, and instead of enjoying the company, it turns into a heated debate.
God I sure do love living at home!
All of our schedules are different so we rarely sit together at a meal anymore. I came home excited to eat a hearty, delicious, home-cooked meal and to spend time with my family, particularly my dad and my older brother.
Tata is transitioning to be a full time truck driver, so I only see him a few times a week if we're both home at the moment.
And Mickey works in the morning and I work in the evening so we rarely see one another either.
I walk through the door and Mickey and Tata are putting the food on the table. Perfect timing. We sit and eat (halibut, shrimp, steamed veggies, and potatoes...yum!) and we're having a fun conversation, laughing and making fun of one another and other people.
And then I open my mouth and say something about hippies, and how I want to be one, and while Mickey and Matthew are just laughing at me calling me the furthest thing away from hippies since I shower, avoid smoking pot, wear shoes and don't drive a VW bus, my dad gets all political blaming what is happening now on the hippie movement.
Exqueeze me? A baking powder?
The entire mood is killed, and the convo turns political.
I don't mind talking politics, as long as it's with open minded, non-judemental, and logical people.
It just so happens my parents, specifically my mother, are none of those things.
I drift off and stop paying attention (because there's no winning with them) and start cleaning up the dishes. Matt quickly joins me and we escape the convo.
I just think its funny. Being all together... all five of us.... doesn't happen often, and instead of enjoying the company, it turns into a heated debate.
God I sure do love living at home!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Cowboys
Here's another piece I thoroughly enjoyed writing.
The cowboy life through song.
http://www.the-signal.com/news/article/8967/
Enjoy my friends!
The cowboy life through song.
http://www.the-signal.com/news/article/8967/
Enjoy my friends!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Pet peeve #1008: Bumpy Roads
I don't have road rage at other drivers, pedestrians, or annoying children staring at me out of their windows. I don't get mad when I get cut off, or when someone drives extremely slow, or even when someone is yapping away on his/her phone.
I do have road rage over the quality of roads I'm driving on though. Especially in the Santa Clarita Valley.
It seems like every street is covered in pot holes, protruding sewers, or just poor construction clean up.
I mean, honestly? Is it really that expensive to add enough concrete to match the rest of the street you just completely fucked up?
The Old Road is one of the worst roads. Half the time I'm swerving to avoid the gnarly holes in the ground.
And it seems like Santa Clarita can't get enough road construction on their plate. It's like crack to them. They rip up the streets night after night. As soon as they're done doing a shitty job laying down the cement to cover the hole, they move to another location and start over again.
Valencia Blvd is recently getting worked on ... and it's turning into the new Old Road.
I just don't understand. If "we the people" are paying taxes for these public works, why not do a good job the first time so the city won't have to return to these same locations years later (after receiving enough complaints by me) and finally put a fresh slate of cement to smooth out the cracks.
In the end, the only reason this became a pet peeve in the first place is because I have a jumpy CD player and my music skips after every imperfection in the road.
And I can't stand that.
I do have road rage over the quality of roads I'm driving on though. Especially in the Santa Clarita Valley.
It seems like every street is covered in pot holes, protruding sewers, or just poor construction clean up.
I mean, honestly? Is it really that expensive to add enough concrete to match the rest of the street you just completely fucked up?
The Old Road is one of the worst roads. Half the time I'm swerving to avoid the gnarly holes in the ground.
And it seems like Santa Clarita can't get enough road construction on their plate. It's like crack to them. They rip up the streets night after night. As soon as they're done doing a shitty job laying down the cement to cover the hole, they move to another location and start over again.
Valencia Blvd is recently getting worked on ... and it's turning into the new Old Road.
I just don't understand. If "we the people" are paying taxes for these public works, why not do a good job the first time so the city won't have to return to these same locations years later (after receiving enough complaints by me) and finally put a fresh slate of cement to smooth out the cracks.
In the end, the only reason this became a pet peeve in the first place is because I have a jumpy CD player and my music skips after every imperfection in the road.
And I can't stand that.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Recent stories
Here are some recent stories I'm proud of.
This one is about a local jazz vocalist. Amazing individual. I wish I could have written more.
http://www.the-signal.com/news/article/8663/
This one is about a woman who went to Africa to volunteer for three months. She's inspired me to go to Africa!
http://www.the-signal.com/news/article/8321/
This one is about a local jazz vocalist. Amazing individual. I wish I could have written more.
http://www.the-signal.com/news/article/8663/
This one is about a woman who went to Africa to volunteer for three months. She's inspired me to go to Africa!
http://www.the-signal.com/news/article/8321/
Food for thought
"Most of the time, your greatest pleasures come from poeple, not things. so in order to be happy, all you have to do is hang out with friends who enjoy life as much as you do."
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